Tell Me Something So Beautiful

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

5:46 PM

5:18 PM

Man, What is up with people cancelling out on me. Pangseh me and all. Wahlau. I'm this close to giving up having company lah. I'd rather go on my own. "Let's go GYM!(alone)" "lets catch a movie (alone)" "lets go break 'together' (alone)"WTH siaa. At least I won't have to wait up. Or I can just go with my own flow, no worries, I don't expect anything from myself. Shit. SHIT. Totally Eff SHIT. Damn..... Forget it. I wanna go home. I'm not like financially unstable or whatever it is with family problems, I just have a lame ass problem with myself, school, seriously feels like a war-zone, I'm fighting for survival, alone, with so little help. Going on without knowing what lies ahead. It's just too overwhelming. But, wth, Let it be then, I'm tired of worrying, I'm tired of hoping for others. This insecurity sucks, it has accumulated so much within me, I'm at the verge of bursting into a gazillion tears. Gosh, I wish I was brought so independent, that I don't even need friends, I don't even need anyone to take care of me and help me stand, so this feelings won't appear. Life feels easy when you're so sure of yourself. At least, they know what lies ahead, what do I know? But hey, whatever daaa. Fuck it. * I apologize for my explicity. *

Anyway.. Oh Boy, I tell you, I thought I'd score high in Catering Tech, WTH, I keep on making careless avoidable mistakes in tests. Like forgetting to write the numbers to those stupid fruits and vegetables I named, or, or, like stupidly not know that there is a lecture quiz and having seat for it like an idiot. Life hasn't be fair. At least in my academics. I chiong my best this semester. Thank God I managed to pass my maths test. Bmic, I'm not too sure, it's still with the teacher. I hope I make it. Against all odds. I feel very unlucky.

Oh, yea, I want to catch that SHREK 3 movie, apparently, well, I was planning la, but it failed la. So whatever la. LA LA LA.

I want to go watch Shrek 3. Pirates of the Caribbean(even though I heard its bogus). Ocean's BLA(I'm not sure what no. is it now). Et cetera.

I know I've been complaining a lot. But, Hell. It's been a long time since I last blogged. So. Yes. Life isn't so bad after all lah actually. I'm just ranting so much about the little problems I have with myself. I take this seriously though. UGH! Now I really want to watch SHREK the Third. Tomorrow.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

12:10 AM

Hey, Hmmmz, I feel so distant nowadays. Maybe I'm just being extra MOODY. It's that time of the month again. UGH.

I'm very bored.
I miss mon petit ami le Ian.
He's been really stressing up about Airborne, Everything seems to get him out on the blues. AWWW, Get Better Darling! I miss those times when you were much carefree.
HAHA. Family guy never fails me. WOOHOO!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

9:55 PM

Some serious shit.

Today, was the worst day of my already boring life. I feel so lonely. Oh mannn. You're not going to believe me, but I feel so miserable in school. Ever since the start of school, I haven't been enjoying it. Gosh, I miss my class TA04. I feel like such a fool. It's as if I've brought down my own dignity. My life is jeopardize by some stupid mistakes. Ugh. Wasted.

I have no peeps left now. Pings is gone, Kc's with the others now cos my timetable is no longer the same as him. So, I hang out with G. Yea, G-Mo. Hmmz, G already has his own clique, The ITAS people. So, it's pretty much ain't a change for him. But It's major for me. No offence G, but I'm not used to their lifestyles. It's very different from what I've always led. Very much different. Hmmz, oh well. But, the ITAS people are really very nice people. They provide entertainment everytime, it pretty much joyful. Yea, so, it's ok after all lah. But, I really miss the old peeps. Haish.

Well, being a re-run student really suck lah. I have to be on my own all the time. I have no one to depend on to ask where's the next class lah, or ask for notes, NO, all my own. Shittos. Great lah. I jsut have to go on with the flow lah right? I don't even have the slightest idea if I get on for 7 or 8 semesters. It's like walking with my eyes shut. I don't know what lies ahead. It's so unpredictable. I hate the feeling of no assurance. I like to know what's up ahead, NOT wait for it to come. NO. Darn. POLYSHITNITZ.

Toujours, Merci mon futur mari, Je T'aime le Ian.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

1:01 PM

She weeps each night over her bitter pain,
as she sees her love fading off in the rain,
he never knew how she really feels inside,
until she said goodbye, leaving his side.

There was no affair, no wrong that he did,
but he was just too busy with himself indeed,
he never had time for his one true love,
he shoved her aside, none of what she deserves.

He felt her pain as she leaves him behind,
what can he do, she's made up her mind,
it was his fault that it ended up like that,
he had to let go of her with a sense of regret.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

12:51 AM

HAHAHA

12:28 AM

HAHA!!

I love FAMILY GUYS, hands down.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

1:54 PM

-Holding On.-

A rational decision had to be made,
you just have to, that's what you said,
without a reason, you said goodbye,
I had nothing more to say, I ceased to ask why.

Days may have passed, weeks and months,
but still, I haven't moved on, I was in trance,
i miss your carress and your gentle smile,
though our hearts were distant in over a mile.

I saw you that day with a girl in your arms,
a sight I'd never want to see unalarmed,
you're all hers now, a fact so hard to swallow,
I guess this is it, It's time to let you go.

Friday, May 11, 2007

10:43 AM

There was nothing more that he sees in her,
she's just his object for one of his pleasure,
yet what she sees in him is of love so devine,
she never thought he could be anymore fine.

Wasted, that's what her friends kept saying,
when he suddenly left her behind crying,
she didn't see it coming, nothing seemed so wrong,
yet, what could she see, she was blinded for so long.

Her absurdity left her with a heart so sore,
she realised that their love had nothing more,
she treated him like he was no other,
he thought she was like any other.

All hell may break lose with her anger brimming,
she was at variance, she was tiffing she was raging,
she could not help the fact that he used her like that,
she was his show, she was his impulsive puppet.

Yet, she did nothing to save herself, her stupid mistake,
it was her own fault she avoided the fact that he was a fake,
Rather than gratifying the moments that's been over and done,
She made a statement to herself, love will never be fun.

Neat.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

12:07 PM

Hello.

It's 12.08p.m. I'm at hommee..

Muahhaaha.

Yeayea, School is at 3.

I initially had school at 10. But the OOH-MY-SHITNITZ 969 bus took fairly half an hour to come, worse still, the bus was filled up. People in the bus were like sardines in a can. It pretty much suck, as obviously, I couldn't get up that bus. Well, the NEXT FOR-THE-OH-FOR-THE-LOVE-OF-Gawd 969, took another half an hour, and the situation was pretty much the same like the previous bus. It was TEN by then. I left my house at 8.53am. Believe me, it only takes me three minutes to get down to the busstop. I was seriously pissed by then. Obviously, I'll miss my first French Lesson, and it lasts only for an hour, and next lesson will be at 3. Soooo... I decided to get back home, ASS. From now on, I regard 969 bus service to be very very unprofessional, messed up, cock up and blood boiling service ever. This day pretty much suck.

Oh Boyy, and , I usually regret some of the things I say, I may get irrational, and might spout some inappropriate remarks. That may hurt you. But still, when you discover something on your own, and then, the person tells you that simple small piece of information that you never really expected regarding someting you discovered earlier. No matter how small the matter is, it still pretty much hurts at least by a bit.

I feel so vulnerable this way. kept away...