Tell Me Something So Beautiful

Thursday, March 30, 2006

12:50 PM

Harlow, Hakz. Well, today, this sense of regret is quickly catching up on me. I regret staying late at Sentosa the other day, hanging out with the sentosa people who kept puffing and puffing and puffing and puffing. Till, everybody was puffing and puffing except for me, till, EVERYBODY was puffing. Yeah. That was a mistake. Thank God I hate the smell of cigarettes actually, so I don't like it at all. And I didn't get addicted to it. I couldn't continue. Well,that day, on the way home, I was like smelling myself and eeeek! I smell of cigarettes. Not good, Not good, then, I realised, EEUU, I hate this smell. So, I deemed myself not to ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever do it again. hurrah!! Hurrah!! No more dum adikaran for me. Yucks!
Anyway, well, this morning I watched Oprah Winfrey show. Oprah was looking back on some of the best episodes. Then, I watched Blues Clues, it was 'interesting'. Yeah, changed my bedsheets. Then, strummed on my guitar for a while. That's what I Did so far. Kay2. I'm typing crap. Hmm, Yeah, i deleted the entry which includes about the gig on 26th Mac. Yeah. So now I'm rewriting about it again. The gig was fun. Yeah. When we reached there, there were already a lot of people. met a few of my friends there. Was amazed to see Rahman and Azahari perform. Rafiq was also there. FAdhil and Fadly was also ther, I was quite shocked when Fadly approached me to have a chat, well, there was a conflict that occured last time, since then, they weren't really on agreeing terms with a few of my friends and I. So I was quite happy that its getting better. IJ studios was packed. The weather was so hot and humid. It felt as though we were in a sauna. During the gig, it was great. AsF was awesome. They started by playing Amber Pacific. Ended by playing Matchbook Romance. Yeahh, I liked that last song, Farewell to Friends, somehow, they manage to clinch it well. Sofar, the gig was alright. People moshing. Body Surf. Somehow, dear got a bit loon there moshing. Haks. Kidding2. Kay... Hmm. Yeah. the last band ASM was good too. Yeah. Anw, went home after that. My father told me to hurry home becouse there's somebody at our house who has come to take my hand for marriage, so i better hurry home. That's just one of his lame2 ways to ask me to get home fast. Huahua. Funny. Well, Dear and me bought a shampoo at Fairprice. Cool. after that I went home. That was the day.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

10:23 PM

Helieu... Huahua.Today, Early in the afternoon I me and Indix went to Raffles Hospital for my check up, that was really quick, Then we met my mother, my 1st sis and my niece at City Hall to eat Lunch. Well, we ate at komala's, Indix was very amazed at the variety of food available, ehem, THE IRONY. Well, still she knew pretty much about the food lah more than me. I ate the POORI meal as per usual. Hekz. Then Indix bought for us this Gulabjammun, one of the delicacies. It was freaking sweet, but i liked it. After lunch we went Penin then headed for Tp taking the taxi. It was my first time to TP. Tp's quite nice actually. There was this couple taking wedding pictures there, I found it really romantic, Tp was probably the place they met. So sweet! Anw, yeah, then came the settling of the documents. It was damn complicating. I had to ask for help from the admin office. Hakz. My father had to come down to TP. It was KECOH!! Funny. I can't help sighing and sighing. Then finally Well finally all the school stuff has been settled thoroughly. Yeah, almost the whole family plus my best friend went to the school to settle all the documents. My father had to come all the way from work just to sign some CPF form. That was a relieve. Trust me, nothing can ever be much more complicated then settling all these. It was really confusing seii. Well, yeah, today after the school thingy, i decided to separate from my family to go Tampines Mall with Indix. Indix just got her pay somehow, so, I accompanied her to go shopping. Well, yeah. She treated me for dinner. Dinner was exquisite. Thanks Indix. Gosh, yeah. I can't believe that we're going to separate schools. She's going NP, and me, going TP. Each on the very end of Singapore. One in the West and One in the East. That's very far. I'm really going to miss her. A lot!! Still, we vowed to ourselves that we will not forget each other. No matter what. Yeah. Aww, that's just sweet ain't it. She's been my friend ever since I was in Sec One. Ishk! I'm really definitely going to miss her. Yeah.. Anyway, well. Good Night!

Monday, March 27, 2006

11:57 PM

I had to delete the last entry. Somehow, Somewhat I found it cruel of me. That ain't me.Yeah, To some I may seem cruel. Yeah, I'm sorry if I ever did wrong to you. I cannot do anything but to just give you my sincere apology. I'm in a state of confusion right now. I guess It was not right of me to judge anything. I wasn' t in the right positon. I don't know whatever happened exactly. All these are just words being passed around. Well,certain words that aren't meant to be passed around somehow did. Some just didn't have to know, but yeah it was still passed around. Well, damage has been done. shut it lah, keep it to yourself can... if its true, let it be, its done and over. Mistakes to be noted and learnt from. Whatever happened was a past that we just have to let go. So now, I'm just letting it go. How Complicated can life be?! Yeah, Now, I'd like to start a new. No puffs, No Bitching, no more blaming without evidence, keeping things to myself is just good enough for now. How many mistakes can one make in life... ? well, A LOt. My mind's in a mess, tears can't hold anymore. Well,For now, I know that I have fallen so deeply in love with my dearest. Nothing Can change That. I hope that this time I won't fail.

We've gone through plenty of rough times,
those sweet moments and those of sour as lime,
Sweet memories that remain unforgetable for life
And bad past that should be left not to survive.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

10:08 PM

Hey, well, A month to my Birthday. That means a month till school starts. Hooray. well... It's exciting, yeahh. But somehow, I've been quite comfortable with this life now, No school and work all, I don't know how am i going to change back to the school life I use to have like months ago. anw, Today. i had to work for almost a whole day. Work was quite fun though. My Assistant Manager was bugging my Team Leader throughout the day. It was hilarious. He put salt in my TL's drink, and my TL gulped the whole cup when he found out how salty it was. His mouth was itchy the rest of the day. FUNNY. Then, I finish work at 7.30p.m. Tired. My shoulders hurt a lot right now. Painful seii. Haish! somebody massage me!!!! And so I am sleepy now. Hakz. Kay. Ciaoz! _huds

Friday, March 24, 2006

11:51 PM

Helo! Well, Today was a tiring day. Went for the medical Check-up.. Unfortunately, the medical check up was incomplete. I have to come for another appoinment for my urine test. Anyway, yeah, me, mom and sis went to eat at Raffles Hospital Banquet. YUMMY! I ate Ban mian, the noodles were really nice. Mmm. Then after my INCOMPLETE check up, we went to Suntec City. Ate BEN & JERRY'S!! WOohoo.. Cookie Dough's the best. Yum2. Yeah. Went to this German Expo. There was this small commotion. A guy was accused for molesting a girl, the guy was totally fumed up by the girl's totally inaccurate accusation. Funny thing was the guy was with his wife who looks way better than the girl. HAH! Whateverlaa.. Anw, yeah, so we went to the german expo then head off to Marina Square. By then, My shoulders were hurting. I had to carry a bag full of my niece's baby paraphernalia which was awfully heavy. With my sunburn, the pain couldn't be any worse. Anw, That was that. We went home after that. We took the TAXI. That was a relief for me lah. Things were really piling up for me to carrry. But, Throughout the day we had fun lah. That was my DAY!! Now, I'm anxiously waiting for my Dearest to reply my msg. I just told him I drop this course that i wanted so badly. Then, Suddenly he still hasn't reply till now. Well, Yeah, I drop that Diploma in Home Econs Teacher course. I found it way too restrict. Any mistakes and I have to pay back all the money. That's just very scary. Moreover I cannot find myself to commit to such a long term bond. Its just a way too a tight deal . Really scary. So I'm taking that other course The Applied Food Science And technology Course. Yeah. Hope things'll go well. Anyway, Hey!! he still haven't reply. Gosh, I miss him so much. I can't wait to see him. Probaly only on Sunday. Gee!! I can't wait.
You are my only, My only ONE!!!!!!

Promise me you won't walk away,
Without you I'd mean nothing today,
You made life seem meaningful,
With you, everything seems so beautiful.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

10:50 PM

Hey, Well, I'm darn bored. So I thought two entries per day wouldn't pretty much hurt .Heks. My skin;s like burning.The skin around my shoulder area feels so painful. Ouch! Well thats for spending the whole day at Sentosa. Yesterday, I went to sentosa with Nadia and Indrani, Yeh.. it was fun. Just that there was also this other girl who tagged along, and I've to admit I've never before seen such a person, so open. I won't go into further detail. Well, so there were a few jerks at Sentosa, I couldn't care less about them, I was having way so much fun with Indrani and Nadia at the beach. To hell with jerks. Whatever. Yeah, So yeah I puffed a few, It's been a long long time seii.. I couldn't resist the temptation, but i told myself, no more after that day. I went home first, I couldn't stay any longer. Yeah, took the train and went home. Then manage to meet dearest in time at Summer MOMO tea then he walked me home. Aww.. Sweetness. I love it when i get to see him last before reaching home. Actually I like it when he sends me home, I find it so gentlemanly. Is there such a word "gentlemanly"? Hakz. Anw, then I slept. Zzzz.. Today, Well, I was home the WHOLE day, I thought of watching a movie, but then I felt lazy.Tmrw I'm off for my full body check-up... All the way at Raffles Medical Centre at Bugis. That's just cumbersome. So leceh sei. ishk. What to do. For my future's sake, I'd do anything.

I'm feeling nervous, trying be so perfect, cos i know u're worth it
Guess I'm wishing my life away, with this things I'll never.

I'd do anything just to fall asleep with you

I love you dear!!!!!!
.

4:46 PM

I can say what I want say, I'd say i want to blow you away, be with you every night, am i squeezing you too tight? I can say what i want to see, I want to see you down on one knee, marry me today, guess i'm wishing my life away, with this things I'll never say.

Well, Dear Diary, it seems like i'm not saying enough. I feel like every words intended to say slips away whenever i want to say it. He's worth it! I tell you he is. I wish I can say this. It kills me to not be with him. Wish I could be with him every night, we'll fall asleep together. I leave all the bad past behind, taking only with me those happy moments.Whatever lah he did in the past. I love him. today's entry is short. Too many things going on in my head. I guess. -huds

Thursday, March 16, 2006

11:37 AM

Dear Bloggie, Yesterday was just awesome. Heks. Well, So yeah, i went to take my pay, but i came way too early so i had to wait. I went to the library to wait, gosh, the sofa was so comfortable that I fell asleep while reading this book "Down With Love" After waking up, I thought I'd take a walk around Esplanade before I get back to my work place. Then, the most wonderful thing happened. Yeah, I met him, Azli. Well, we were suppose to meet lah, but somehow like surprising lah to meet him. It was just so incredible to see his adorable face. And whenever we meet, he'd always kiss his two fingers the index and the middle finger put together, and place it on my cheek.. Awww..melts* Kayy2. So yeah, I saw him at the theathre by the bay , so we sat there for a lil while waiting for my boss's green light to get my pay. We cuddled. We talked. our arms wrapped around each others' arms. fingers in between each others' fingers. Well, I have to say, it's been a long time since just the two of us were together You see. So i have to say lah. that it was marvellous. okok,, So then I got my pay. Then We chao. We went to Surfbabes and flash n splash at Citylink then head to orchard. Well, we ate, walked around Far East Plaza. We stopped by my friend's work place and had an interesting conversation. He thought me how to pronounce certain words properly. Well, my pronunciation sucks , well. But it was fun learning from him. He was forever shomering me with compliments that'd always make me feel rather bashful , (( but i like it)) hehe. the day was just blissful. Even though by the time we went to the shop i wanted to go was closing, i didn't feel even a lil upset because getting to see him was enough
On the way back home, well, we had a lot of stuff to say really, like CCs and Hotel 81, well. STUFF. Hot!!!!!!! Well. hehe.
Well, he's off to work for four full days. so i can't see him. Nonetheless, Gosh!! yesterday was marvellous. I just can't wait to him once again. Anyway, day was so great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish it didn't have to end.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

12:32 AM

Dearest Bloggy, well, hell yeah!! i'm already missing him. HAish. I'm like so sick and tired with work now. I can't wait to resign. I've been doing tough jobs alone really. Every job needed to be done is all put on my burden. They're telling me to do all the housekeeping job. Then I must also do morning shift alone. I'm like damn!! Hey!! I have a life. You keep on asking me to work 12 hrs a day, Where am i gonna put my personal life in. Shit! DArn them. Has it ever occur to them that it's tiring. Yeah sure, they keep pin pointing my errors and all, but have they ever experienced what i'm going through?? I hate my BOSS!!! Damn Her. Seriously, Damn HER!! Yeah so what if the others have plans on and can't work and that i don't have any plans, hey, I NEED MY REST!! $%^%$^%$#$^#@%^%$ Watever lah. I am going to resign and that;s my final decision, no turning back no regrets. Thank you!! Anyway, Well diary, on Saturday, 11th of March was just a marvellous day for me. The gig was just incredible, ASF was awesome. They play really professionally. The Bassist was kind of attracting the most attention, he was cute!! The way he performed. Of course, My Dear was the one I really love to watch as he perform, he's just so good at guitars, and when he sings, with that face he always puts on when he sings that is just gorgeous, I just melted. Whenever our eyes meet. GOSH!! aHH!! so NIce.. Well, Got to spend the whole day with his friends and him, I have to say it was fun hanging out with them, reached home late and I was really scared actualy but nothing bad happened, my dad even laughed at me, he even asked me about my day, wow! and i reached home like close to midnight!! Well... I'm looking forward to the next time. If there'd be any chance. But I'm really looking forward even more if I get to spend the whole day with him ONLY!! When.. I don't know. Hoping hard it'd be before school starts. Whenevr I'm with you, It's as though all my problems dissolve and that at that moment it was just blissful.. I have to go now. Working tommorow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Argh! haish! kay. Peace Oud!

Monday, March 06, 2006

10:15 PM

hey, Bloggie, You know what.. F*** the last entry. I don't know lah, It's just so bad of me. I love him and i wouldn't want to be the person having to say all this. but i did, so f*** the last entry. Whatever. Darn it. Damn. Kay, I love you. I love you. you are my only one. To hell with whatever people said. That was in the past, history, It's OVER! k. I guess, this is a new chapter. A new chapter in life, with me and Azli. Azli and me. Can we make this last forever. I'd spill my heart for you. For you and only you. You are my everything, my life, my world. The reason why my heart keeps beating, pumping blood through these veins. You make the stars twinkle.Love it when the stasr shine against our face ,crinkling mirthfully at me.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

1:13 AM

Dear Bloggie, Well.. It's Sunday, The end of the week. I have to tell you, This week is like the most chaotic 7 days in my whole life. I got sick. Heartbroken. Was Overwhelmed.Was Relieved. Happy. What A week!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well. It's over now. Haiyo. Anyway, You know what bloggie, I got into the course I wanted, Food Science and Nutrition at Temasek Poly. Dearest got into the same school but he sort of got the choice he didn't want and he'd never ever see himself as a TP student. He thought he would never get in Tp. Ouh well, He's going to appeal for NYp, As much as I don't want him to go appeal as much as I want him to stay in TP. Again, I have no darn right to restrict him. It's his future we're talking about. So I just have to let him do whatever he wants. Am i right.. I just hope we'd be able to meet each other regularly, Even though we're not meeting each other enough even now, well i thought things will turn out better lah in the future. We both got to understand. I HAVE TO BE UNDERSTANDING. Gosh.. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why can't i just be satisfied.. I just cannot get enough! Nurul you are soooo BLEARGH! Enough2, As much as I want him to be with me most of the time, Well, I can't, I understand why. But sometimes, just SOMETIMES.. I'd be thinking, why get yourself into a relationship if you know U can't commit to be with that person always, that friends sometimes come later. This was what one of my friend's BF told me earlier. Since then, I kept thinking about what he told me. He asked me, Why don't i go out with my BF, Why am I always with my friends, Why can't I Meet my BF whenever I need company. WHY? WHY? Well, i don't know why. I know why but I don't know, sometimes I ask this to myself, WHY! Should I tell him this? School's starting soon, SO before we get busy with school work, shouldn't we like meet each other more often. I know friends are important, but what is the use of having a relationship if you're always with your friends????????????????? Gosh!! bloggie... i don't know what to do, sometimes I'd think of all this stuff, but then i'd think again, I'm only 17, is this what teenage realtionship suppose to be like!! But then I'll look at others, my friends and their BF, they'd always meet each other yet they still have time for their own friends. Am i right to say this that he should also be doing the same?? AM I! Thoughts Running wild through my mind.

Friday, March 03, 2006

10:47 AM

Hey bloggie, new bloggie. Well.. I deleted the old blog because I got pissed with somebody. I couldn't help the contents in that blog were mostly about him, so when I got pissed with him well, I immediately deleted my blog. Ouh well.. Stupid of me. Things are fine now. No longer angry with that person instead i'm loving him more. ouh well.. It's done and over. Yeah!! Today was the results for which school we get posted too. Well, I got my first choice, Food science and nutrition, but it wasn't really what I wanted, I wanted the course i went for the interview that one. Haish! He got TP too, was happy that he got TP, but he didn't really want TP. Haish... Well, it's he's future we're talking about, I can't force him. Ouh well... We'll See. Hmm.. It's soo early in the morning now. I feel sleepy again. Well.. Gonna go.. buaiz.